


The Dance

by FendersWolfMage



Series: The Dance [1]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anders Temporarily Dies, Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 04:39:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4166235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FendersWolfMage/pseuds/FendersWolfMage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short fic written based off the song The Dance by Garth Brooks. Somewhat based off the actual game story line.<br/>(Warning Major Character Death)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let us Dance

Hawke set up the picnic blanket. Looking around the area, taking in his fine handy work. Sitting down, he smiled at the candles that lit the slowly darkening area. It had taken some convincing, but he'd managed to get Anders to agree to the night away from his clinic. Hawke had felt relieved at that, wishing to have the night alone with him. However, Anders had yet to show up and Hawke was starting to get discouraged. 

 

Standing up, Hawke was almost ready to pack up, when he heard the pat of feet behind him. Turning around, his blue eyes met a very tired looking pair of honey brown ones. Anders stood there awkwardly, fidgeting with his hands. “I apologize. I got caught up with the clinic... I had been ready on time, but then someone can in with one problem.. and it just... flowed in” Anders said, offering a sheepish grin, despite the dark circles under his eyes. 

Hawke walked towards him, pressing a soft kiss to Anders cheek. “It's fine. No harm done” Hawke said, moving to let Anders sit on the blanket. Hawke sat down beside him. “Are you hungry? Orana packed us some food” Hawke said, motioning a hand out towards the picnic basket. Anders smiled. “I am pretty hungry actually..” Anders said, reaching out to the picnic basket. His eyes widened a bit, taking in the contents. “Wine..?” Anders asked hesitantly. Hawke smirked. “I may have managed to get a bottle from Fenris” Hawke said. Anders laughed. “And he actually gave it to you?” Anders asked, a smile plastering his face. 

Hawke reached out to stroke a piece of hair from Anders face. That smile did things to his heart, made it flutter, made it do loops in his chest. Anders took Hawke's hand, placing a kiss to his palm. “Then shall we enjoy this?” Anders asked. Hawke nodded. “Will... Justice allow you?” Hawke asked, curiosity seeping into his voice. A look of guilt crossed Anders face, but not long enough for Hawke to be 100% sure it was there. “Justice will allow me what I wish for tonight... It's the one exception he'll allow” Anders said. 

Popping open the cork, Hawke grabbed the two wine glasses, pouring some for both of them. Handing one to Anders, Hawke pulled out their sandwiches. “It's pretty basic... I mean.. I wasn't sure what to bring on a picnic” Hawke said, a blush settling over his face. This drew a chuckle out of Anders. “I love it. Thank you” Anders said, placing a kiss to Hawke's lips. 

 

Hawke leaned back, sipping the last of his third glass of wine. Pouring himself another, Hawke watched Anders closely as he retold a tale. Anders himself, was only on his second glass, savouring the sweet and yet bitter liquid. “..So here I was with a dirt stained, crying Carver and lets not get started on Bethany's dress. My father was so angry” Hawke said. Anders laughed heartily. Hawke placed down his wine glass. Standing up, he offered out a hand towards Anders. “Dance with me?” Hawke asked. Anders looked at the offered hand and then back up at Hawke. “But there's no music” Anders said, blinking in confusion. “Then we dance to our own music” Hawke said, winking at Anders. 

Anders giggled as he was dragged up by Hawke. Hawke pulled Anders close, grasping Anders hand with one of his own, as the other fell to Anders hip. Twirling him around, Hawke smiled brightly, Anders easily gliding around with him in a messy circle. “Did I mention how lovely you look tonight?” Hawke asked. Anders smiled. “No, I believe you haven't. Although, you just did now” Anders said. Hawke pecked his lips. “I suppose I did” Hawke said, drawing Anders in closer against his chest. They fit so easily together, as though this was where they belonged. In each others grasp, nothing else in the world matter. The stars twinkled brightly in the sky now. “You're utter perfection” Hawke breathed. Hawke could have swore a blush crossed the mage's face. “Had I known you were bringing me out here for compliments, I would have simply asked for us to say home.. Maybe have you compliment me some other way" Anders said. Hawke leaned in, placing a kiss to Anders jaw. “Whoever said that those sort of compliments have to be done in private?” Hawke asked, a wicked gleam shining through his blue. 

Before Anders could brace himself or answer, Hawke was quick to lift him into his arms. A squeak of un-manliness escaped Anders. Hawke chuckled at this, setting Anders down on the picnic blanket. Hawke placed his hands on either side of Anders, leaning down to capture his lips in a deep kiss. Anders reached up to grip Hawke's shirt, pulling him closer. The kiss was desperate, full of biting and gasps. 

Lips soon found their way trailing down Anders neck, loosening his robes. They were in no mood for slow, only pure and primal. Need rising in both of them. Hawke was quick to rip the robe away, causing Anders to gasp. “Don't rip it, Hawke. I love this one” Anders said. Hawke rolled his eyes. “I'm not gong to rip your favourite coat. Now then” Hawke said, removing the shirt that Anders had underneath. 

Kissing down Anders chest, Hawke nipped and licked causing quiet curses to fall from the mages lips. Hawke knew the silence wouldn't last long. It had taken a while to get Anders comfortable with being even remotely vocal, but once Hawke had got him there, he lived for the beautiful sounds. 

Reaching Anders trousers, he felt the man tense in anticipation. Hawke looked up to meet Anders' eyes with a smirk. Not taking his gaze away, Hawke pulled down the trousers, along with Anders' small clothes. Hawke knew Anders' body at this point, as if it was his own. Reaching down, he grabbed hold of Anders' cock, stroking it leisurely. He wanted to make Anders squirm, make him beg for it. Even Hawke was aware of how torturous it was to have then hand there, but not giving the pressure he wanted. 

Anders bit his bottom lip, never breaking contact from Hawke. He wouldn't break, not yet. Clearly it would take more then this to make him beg or so he thought. Hawke gave a squeeze to the head, swiping his thumb over the slit, smearing precum in it's wake. Anders gasped. “Hawke, please” Anders begged. Hawke chuckled. Lowering his head, he took the tip of Anders cock into his mouth. Sucking and licking, but not taking it fully into his mouth yet. He planned to drive Anders crazy, one way or another. 

Reaching up a hand, Hawke offered 3 fingers to Anders, to which Anders was quick to take into his mouth. Of course they had other methods of lubrication, but Hawke wasn't going to break away to search for it. Feeling Anders swirl his tongue around Hawke's fingers, Hawke lowered his mouth on Anders cock. Humming around the length, Hawke earned a low moan from Anders. Hawke had been set on teasing Anders, but he didn't know he'd have the patience to do so. 

Pulling his now coated fingers from Anders mouth, Hawke brought them to Anders' hole. Keeping his mouth suctioned around Anders' length, Hawke dragged his finger along the pink pucker, before pushing it in. “H-Hawke” Anders moaned, pushing down around the intruding digit. “Please don't tease. I need you” Anders whined, desperation falling into his voice. Hawke took his time, working in the first digit, despite Anders please. Though the second soon followed. 

Once Hawke deemed Anders good and ready after the third finger, Hawke took Anders cock out of his mouth, followed by removing his fingers from Anders' hole. “Are you ready?” Hawke asked. Anders watched him with a sharp swallow and a nod. “Please” Anders pleaded. Hawke was quick to line himself up with Anders entrance, leaning over the man. Bring his face closer to Anders, he kissed him deeply, pouring his emotion into the actions as he pushed in. Anders whimpered against his mouth, back arching a bit. 

Taking his time, it was a few minutes before Hawke found himself fully inside Anders. The tight passage clenched around his cock, drawing a groan out of Hawke, as he rested his head on Anders shoulder. Anders legs wrapped around his back, drawing him in more as his arms wrapped around Hawke's muscular shoulders. “Don't hold back. Whatever you do, please? I need this” Anders said in Hawke's ear. Hawke wondered what Anders meant behind those words, but choose not to ask. Instead, he began a slow, deep thrust into Anders. 

Hawke watched Anders face, love filling his eyes. Watching Anders eyes close in pleasure, Hawke captured his lips, thrusting his tongue into the man's mouth. Both moaned into the kiss as Hawke drew back a bit harder, thrusting into the mage quicker. Anders was quick to meet his thrusts. Hawke suddenly got an idea in his head. “Anders... How would you feel.. about riding me?” Hawke asked, the words coming out in a breathy tone. 

Anders gasped and his eyes opened. “You.. dog” Anders said. Hawke chuckled and kissed Anders nose, as he continued. “Is that a yes?” Hawke asked. Anders nodded, eyes closing for a moment, before he pushed against Hawke's chest. Hawke pulled away, moving to lie on his back. Anders moved over top of him, blonde hair hanging in his face. Hawke reached up, moving the blonde locks behind his ear. “Ready?” Anders asked. Hawke nodded, watching as Anders sank down on him. They both let out a needy groan as Anders sat on his hips. Giving an experimental rock of his hips, Anders gave a cheeky grin at Hawke's gasp. 

Hawke took Anders hips in his grasp, thrusting up into him. Starting with a quick rhythm, instead of the slow one they had going, Hawke soon had the mage moaning on top of him. “Fuck, Hawke.. Nngh, so good” Anders moaned out, eyes closed and head thrown back. Hawke gave a particularly sharp thrust into Anders sweet spot, causing the man to cry out and shudder. “Again. Fuck please, maker!” Anders cried. Hawke did it again, quicker, harder. Anders loud moans echoed around them in the open. Hawke wouldn't be surprised if everyone in Kirkwall hard him. 

Both panting, Hawke could tell Anders was close to release. Taking Anders' erect member in hand, Hawke stroked quickly. Feeling his own orgasm rising up, Hawke worked hard, trying to draw out Anders' first. Hawke leaned up awkwardly, biting down on Anders' collarbone and sucking. Crying up, Hawke felt the warm, sticky ropes of Anders cum coating his stomach and hand. 

The tight clench around his cock was all Hawke needed to throw him over the edge. Gasping and groaning into Anders neck, Hawke road out his orgasm. He didn't stop his thrusts until he felt his cock softening. Laying back, Anders flopped bonelessly on top of Hawke. “Thank you, Hawke” Anders murmured. “I love you” Hawke said with a kiss to Anders head. Anders hummed, eyes closing as sleep took over.


	2. Glad I didn't know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders death.

Chapter 2

Only hours ago, Hawke and Anders had awoken. After a night of music-less dancing and loving sex, Hawke could only wonder where things went wrong. They'd been happy, blissful even. Yet now he stood here, with a blown up chantry. The man he loved had done it. In the eyes of everyone around, he was a murderer, a criminal. At this, Hawke's heart broke, thudding in his chest. His throat felt closed up, making it hard to breathe. Hawke stood beside Anders for a moment, contemplating what to say. What could he say, with their companions behind him, begging him to make a decision. One he wasn't positive he could make. 

“There is nothing you can say, that I haven't already said to myself” Anders said, his voice barring under lying emotion. Hawke could only listen for the moment. “I took a spirit into my soul and changed myself forever to achieve this. This is the justice all mages have awaited”. Hawke breathed for a moment. “Did.. that spirit.. tell you to do this?” Hawke asked, trying to hide the emotion in his voice. “No. When we merged, he ceased to be. We are one now. I could no more ignore the injustice of the Circle than he could” Anders said. Hawke's gaze grew stern. “I might have understood, if only you'd told me” Hawke said, biting back what else he wished to say. His gaze softened a bit, for a moment, awaiting Anders response. 

“I.. wanted to tell you... but what if you stopped me? Or worse, what if you wanted to help? I couldn't let you do that...” Anders said, his tone rising a bit as he spoke. Hawke gazed around at the destruction, uncertain of what he wanted to say or needed to say. “ The world needs to see this. Then we can all stop pretending the Circle is a solution... And if I pay for that with my life... then I pay. Perhaps then, at least Justice would be free”. How could Anders so willingly accept his death? After fightng for the freedom of mages? How long had Anders thought these things, without Hawke ever known. Hawke wished to embrace him, to hold him. Whisper that it would be alright. However, he couldn't. Not now. 

Hawke turned to their friends, biting his lip before speaking. “Opinions?” he asked. Fenris of course was the first to speak up. “He wants to die. Kill him and be done with it” Fenris said, his anger seeping into his voice. Aveline spoke next. “Belief is no excuse. Sincerity does not justice... this” she said. Hawke wasn't to certain what to make of that. What help had that been? How could he make a decision of that? “He should come with us. Do what he can to put things right” Merrill chimed in. Sweet, innocent... and yet not so innocent, Merrill. Of course she'd accept this as just a flaw, a mistake. “I think I'm sick of mages and templars” Varric said, not quite helping his decision either. 

“Whatever you do, just do it” Anders said, indifferent to Hawke's inner struggles. He wish he'd known. Had some idea that it'd all come down to this... This mess. He wished he could have avoided this, maybe never fallen in love. His heart would hurt less, his mind less of a jumble. Steeling himself against those emotions, Hawke had to be thankful for something... That he HAD known what it was like to love Anders, even if this was the way it would end... because he was glad he hadn't missed the dance. The one that showed their love for each other, the raw emotion and laughter. Stopping his thoughts, Hawke knew what he had to do, but it certainly wouldn't be without regret. 

“You have to pay for what you've done” Hawke said, his voice deep, emotion clear in his words. “I know... For what it's worth, I'm glad it's you. It was nice to be happy... for a while” Anders said. Hawke reached into his pocket, drawing out the dagger. Before he could second guess the action, Hawke pushed the dagger into Anders' back. Tears welled in Hawke's eyes, but he held them back. Now wasn't his time to mourn. He couldn't. As Anders body fell limply to the ground, Hawke turned away. Not a word was spoken from him for a few moments, as he composed himself enough. This needed to be dealt with and he needed to be the 'Champion of Kirkwall'.


	3. I Might Have Changed It All

Chapter 3

Hawke tilted the bottle back, relishing the warm liquid as it slid down his throat and burned. Leaning in his chair, he starred at the crackle of the fire, watching pages burn. That was the last of Anders' manifesto. The last pages he could find lying around the house anyway. He was desperate to forget, desperate to let the bottle be his answer. Yet it gave him none and come morning, it would all flood back. This was only a temporary numbness. 

Closing his eyes, he sighed. Why couldn't it just.. all go away? The memories of Anders smiling face, the flirting and loving gestures. He had so many fond memories, even if a lot of them included the man in his bed, sleeping beside him. Anders sleeping face hadn't been something he'd often seen, yet when it was, it made Hawke's heart stop. Even with dark circles under his eyes, the man had been breath-takingly beautiful. 

With Anders, Hawke had felt on top of the world, as if nothing was out of his reach. Anders had been his king and Hawke had looked forward to being his knight. Like a silly little fairy tale.. Fairy tales couldn't exist for real. Hawke just wished he'd only know that was how his king would fall. Hawke had expected the blight would be what destroyed Anders, not the spirit of 'Justice' living inside him. If only Hawke had known, maybe he'd have been able to change it, to change everything. Show them a better way to get justice. He hadn't been given that chance? Had his love not been enough or maybe just to much? 

Hawke heard the door to his study open, yet he didn't turn. It was a new companion every day, attempting to pull him out of his drunken stupor. “Hawke” the voice said, more gentle then Hawke usually heard it. Hawke turned to look at he usually broody elf, looking at him with worry. Hawke knew if he was worried, then maybe Hawke himself should have been too. “You've been in here for days and Varric is convinced we'll all continue to lose to Isabela with Wicked Grace” Fenris said, trying for conversation. Hawke knew this was not Fenris' thing. Comfort never had been. 

Instead of answering the elf, Hawke held out the bottle. Fenris took it, but did not drink it. Hawke looked at Fenris, an eyebrow raising. “I am not hear to drink... If you... need to talk. I personally have nothing good to say about the abomination.. But I will listen to whatever it is you may need to say, without judgement” Fenris said. 

“Why?” Hawke's voice came out in a croak, his voice unused. “If I understand the question correctly... I believe it is because he had lost it. There is... not a thing you could have done to change that, Hawke. The abo- Anders, was to far gone as it was” Fenris said, sitting down he the bottle at Hawke's feet. Hawke appreciated Fenris' attempt, however futile it was. “Lost it... Is that what I'm doing to? Losing it..?” Hawke asked, more to himself that Fenris. Fenris looked as thought he was contemplating it a moment. “I believe that is something only you could answer, Hawke. Are you?” Fenris asked, green eyes meeting his blue ones. Hawke bit his lip and then nodded. “I am” Hawke said, standing up from his chair. Fenris followed suit, standing up with Hawke. “Shall we go play Wicked Grace?” Hawke asked. Fenris' eyes softened and he smiled painfully, as though he knew Hawke was pushing it. “Yes. Lets” Fenris said. 

Putting the bottle down, Hawke excused himself to dress. Soon following Fenris to the Hanged Man, Hawke could only wonder if this would ever feel normal again or if it would always feel empty without the babbling mage. The sinful honey brown eyes that drew him in, that smile that could light up a room whenever it shown through. Hawke played with the small feathers tied around his wrist. Hawke knew Anders would never truly be gone, but it would be hard to live with. Knowing he was the knight, who let his king fall.


End file.
